MVPs with enterprise dependencies
We define Minimum Viable Products that require SSO, audit logs, multi-region failover, and three stakeholders who disagree about the word minimum.
Strategically unavailable since next sprint
Enterprise vibes. Boutique invoices. No production incidents.
wndy is a fictional digital studio for high-conviction ambiguity, scalable alignment, and beautifully scoped uncertainty. We create the conditions under which software could theoretically occur.
0
Production incidents, thanks to no production.
47
Roadmaps lovingly invalidated by reality.
12k
Story points estimated in complete silence.
Capabilities
We ship outcomes, artifacts, and calendar fatigue.
Every engagement begins with discovery, expands into a risk-adjusted strategy maze, and ends with a Notion page nobody is brave enough to archive.
Frictionless journeys with seven modals
We reduce cognitive load by asking users to confirm preferences, confirm the confirmation, and accept cookies for operational excellence.
Architecture you can defend in Slack
Microservices, monoliths, modular monoliths, distributed monoliths: we choose whatever makes the diagram look inevitable.
LLM-powered everything except accountability
We wrap a chat interface around an unresolved business process, add a loading state, and call it an agentic workflow.
Pipelines that fail consistently
Every red build includes actionable insight such as try again, works locally, or ask the platform team if they still exist.
Alignment-as-a-Service
For teams that need fewer answers and more shared vocabulary. Includes async updates, pre-reads, post-reads, and ritualized ambiguity.
Selected Artifacts
Beautifully presented initiatives currently pending reality.
We specialize in work that looks credible in a board deck, survives three stakeholder reviews, and can be quietly descoped after procurement.
SaaS Launch Adjacent
Positioning, product theatre, and dashboard energy for a B2B analytics platform.
Defined the first commercial use case, designed the demo path, and postponed the hard data problem until after the investor call.
Ops Transformation
A role-aware internal workflow for turning spreadsheets into meetings.
Mapped the manual process, renamed bottlenecks as dependencies, and introduced a dashboard everyone checks right before standup.
Process
Our delivery framework is lean, agile, and mostly ceremonial.
01
Discovery
We learn that the real requirement was hidden in a spreadsheet named final_final_v3_REAL.xlsx, then map your ecosystem with quiet professional concern.
02
Alignment
We facilitate a workshop where everyone agrees on the same words while meaning different things. Deliverables include a Miro board and three definitions of done.
03
Execution
We enter focused build mode until priorities shift, a stakeholder has a thought, or a third-party API deprecates the business model.
04
Optimization
We improve conversion, latency, retention, and morale by replacing one button label and scheduling a quarterly architecture review nobody will cancel.
Our Team
The people, systems, and unresolved access risks behind wndy.
wndy is powered by a carefully curated mix of strategic vision, operational despair, unpaid optimism, and machine-generated confidence. We believe great software is built by great people, or, when unavailable, by whoever still has access to the repository.
Theodore “Ted” Wndsworth
Chief Executive Officer / Vision Holder / Capital Misallocation Specialist
Ted founded wndy after inheriting a modest fortune from his late uncle, a man whose main business principle was “never trust software you can’t print.” Within six months, Ted had successfully converted half the inheritance into “temporary liquidity support” for a self-described overseas prince, proving his rare ability to identify high-risk opportunities before legal counsel gets involved.
Ted does not code, design, sell, manage, estimate, or understand the product. His role is bigger than that. He provides vision, asks whether things can “just use AI,” and occasionally appears in Slack to write “thoughts?” under a 47-message technical discussion.
Mira Scopewell
Product Manager / Roadmap Therapist / Keeper of Moving Requirements
Mira transforms vague founder impulses into structured documents that imply progress. She specializes in roadmaps where every feature is “critical,” every deadline is “aggressive but realistic,” and every user story begins with “As a stakeholder who has not used the product...”
Her greatest professional achievement was reducing a 19-feature MVP into a 21-feature “Phase One.”
Cassandra Peoplehart
Head of HR / Culture Strategist / Dream Reallocation Officer
Cassandra believes people are the company’s greatest asset, which is why they must be carefully optimized, calibrated, assessed, and occasionally replaced by a cheaper timezone.
She writes rejection emails that begin warmly, end legally, and leave candidates wondering whether they imagined the interview. Internally, she protects culture by scheduling mandatory wellness check-ins immediately after layoffs.
Gregor Null
Senior Backend Engineer / Legacy Whisperer / Incident Archaeologist
Gregor has been burned out since 2019 but remains with wndy because updating his resume feels more exhausting than production support. He knows where the bodies are buried, which cron jobs are load-bearing, and why nobody should touch billing-final-v2-new-old.js.
He communicates through code comments, incident postmortems, and long pauses on Zoom. When asked whether something is possible, he says “technically,” which the business team interprets as “yes.”
Dylan and Max
Junior Prompt Engineers / AI Operations Associates / Salary-Optimized Talent
Dylan and Max joined through our Emerging Markets Excellence Program, also known as “we found them in a Discord server.” For $200/month and exposure to real-world ambiguity, they transform requirements into prompts, prompts into code, and code into pull requests that make Gregor stare silently at the wall.
They are passionate, fast-learning, and only occasionally ask whether the project is satire.
Claude, GPT, and Localhost-7B
Synthetic Delivery Team / Non-Equity Contributors
Our LLM team works around the clock, mostly because nobody has explained labor law to them yet. They generate implementation plans, test cases, brand copy, SQL migrations, and confident explanations for bugs they personally introduced four seconds earlier.
Claude handles diplomacy. GPT handles ideation, refactoring, and suspicious optimism. Localhost-7B is kept offline for security reasons and because it keeps hallucinating Kubernetes manifests for breakfast.
Anton “Nginx” Kovalenko
DevOps Consultant / Firewall Poet / Keeper of the One Server
Anton maintains the infrastructure, which currently consists of one VPS, three Docker containers, a reverse proxy, and a growing sense of inevitability. He believes every problem can be solved with logs, headers, rate limits, and eventually a complete rewrite of the deployment pipeline.
He joined as a part-time contractor and has since become the only person who knows why production works.
Beatrice Finalfinal
UX Designer / Figma Cartographer / Button Philosopher
Beatrice designs interfaces so minimal they occasionally become unusable, which she describes as “respecting negative space.” She has strong opinions about typography, motion curves, and whether a checkout button should feel more like a decision or a confession.
Her work is consistently described as “beautiful, but where is the login?”
Roman Decksmith
Sales Lead / Partnership Alchemist / Enterprise Whisperer
Roman sells things the team has not built to people who have not approved budgets for problems they have not fully defined. He believes every conversation is a pipeline opportunity and every confused prospect is simply “not yet educated.”
He once closed a deal by promising “full AI-native omnichannel transformation,” then asked engineering what omnichannel means.
The Intern
Intern / Access Risk / Future Founder
Nobody remembers hiring The Intern, but they have admin access to three critical tools and somehow know everyone’s secrets. They are currently responsible for social media, QA, analytics, competitor research, and “just quickly checking why the database is slow.”
The Intern is learning a lot, mostly about organizational collapse.
Board of Advisors
Unavailable
Our board consists of respected industry veterans, two inactive LinkedIn connections, one angel investor who liked Ted’s post in 2021, and a Notion page titled “Advisors - To Confirm.”
They provide strategic guidance on a quarterly basis, assuming the calendar invite survives rescheduling.
Together, we combine senior expertise, junior affordability, artificial intelligence, and just enough denial to ship modern software in today’s economy.
We do not build software. We create the strategic conditions under which software could theoretically occur.
Transparent pricing, emotionally variable scope.
All plans include kickoff, offboarding, and a tasteful amount of existential dread. VAT, optimism, and urgent production patches are not included.
from £0
Because we do not exist
- Starter: one landing page, three buzzwords, no database, immediate stakeholder enthusiasm.
- Scale: everything in Starter plus a roadmap, an ADR nobody reads, and a Slack channel called #project-windy-war-room.
- Enterprise: procurement theatre, security questionnaires, seventeen status calls, and a logo wall with coming soon clients.
Actual invoices may appear if this joke becomes a consultancy by accident.
FAQ
Questions stakeholders ask right before scope changes.
Can you build this quickly?
Absolutely. Quickly is a flexible business term meaning before the investor call and without the requirements we have not written down yet.
Is this AI-native?
Yes. A human wrote the strategy, an LLM rewrote it in a more confident voice, and a committee removed the risky parts until it became a PDF.
Do you support legacy systems?
We respect legacy systems the way consultants respect risk registers: formally, from a distance, and with a mitigation plan that says phase two.
Can we just add one small feature?
Of course. Our change-request ritual begins with it should be simple and concludes with database migrations, new permissions, and a revised Q4 roadmap.
How do we start?
Send us a short brief, a long brief, or a vague feeling. We will convert it into a discovery phase.